Taking Offense😤

Until we take responsibility for being offended, by saying I’m no longer going to put that responsibility on everyone else to not offend me, we will remain in a trap that keeps us from enjoying LIFE! – Joyce Meyer

The recent presidential election had me scratching my head on many levels. The proclivity and waggishness exhibited by each news channel made it crystal clear where each news outlet stood on different hot topics and who they supported as the future President. You know what else was blatantly obvious…. Who they didn’t support. And this was across the board for all stations: CNN, FOX, MSNBC, NEWSMAX, etc. But what was funny/ironic, was that they would then respond with offense when the “opposition” would do the same thing they were doing. What! 🫢 Every popular news station fell into this trap. All proclaiming to be truth and reasonable.

Growing up I would often hear two very different sides or opinions of the same topic, or political figure, in my house or at family gatherings.  It decidedly did help me to love the person behind the opinion or “truth” of the debate because I had a relationship and respect for both sides of the issue. How this affected me on whether this experience was a blessing, or a curse has yet to be deciphered ,🤔 but from a blessing point of view I have always taken what I hear and put it in a bag to unload later when I’ve had time to research or ponder on…. Things like, “what does the bible say about this”?📙

The cursing of my experience has led to moments of indecision in times when decision is needed. James 1:8 states that a double-minded person is unstable in all their ways. So, in between, the blessing or the curse, I’m left with what makes me…. well…me!

Taking a stand and deciding on who to vote for is necessary, but it should never include having to cut the other person down. We are called to love one another 💞, and love requires both Truth & Mercy. Whether I agree with your decisions, your actions or opinions should not determine whether I decide to love you. I’m going to pray for whomever is sitting as our president of the United States, or leader of our church or leader of your church.

"I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people—for kings and all those in authority". 1 Timothy 2:1-4

Over the years, I’ve seen, within friends, family and country, divisions and detachments because of people being offended. Offended by the government, by words of disagreement, by a look they received, by how someone is dressed, and the list continues. My kids are afraid to speak out because they live in a time where “cancel culture” is very real for them. Two of our kids experienced first-hand the loss of friends and friend groups because of how they voted.

One of my sons, who is now 23 “What?” That offends me…just kidding! 😂He is currently in college and is wrapping up his Speech class. I have to say I’m very impressed with his instructor as she has challenged the class of Gen Z’s (known for being direct and transparent) to speak on hot topics such as abortion, the middle east, and women’s vs men’s rights. I shouldn’t say she challenges them as its more of a “if you want to get a passing grade you need to speak your mind and be open minded enough to listen to what someone else is saying”.  She finds out what they currently believe in, related to world issues and much more, and then speak the opposition to their peers. 👻

Jaxon has shared with me some of the things that have been discussed in this class, arguments from the other side of issues that I have stood firm on and still do.  But hearing the other side of these civil issues has given me a compassion and understanding as to why they think and feel the way they do. What a blessing. 🕊️

As people of a chosen generation, a purchased people and a holy nation we should be able to speak and express what we know, and think and feel but also, we should be able to listen to others who disagree with us without offense. Offense is a choice and many times it starts with forgiveness. 🙏💌

Being offended is inevitable. Living offended is a choice. If you are on a continuous search to be offended, you will always find what you're looking for. Your life is too short and your calling too great to be offended by something small! – Craig Groeschel

Isn’t this so true…

This reminds me of the story in the bible when Peter and the disciples are in a boat in the middle of an ocean and there is a storm. The waves were crashing and the winds blowing 💨and lightning striking 🌩️but Jesus waves for Peter to get out of the boat and walk on the water just as he is doing. I bet it was cold too! 🥶 The storm was very real, and the lightning and waves were happening but when Peter focused on Jesus, the love of Jesus, he could stay above water but when he was focused on the deadly storm he would sink. Jesus is saying keep your eyes on me, and remember….I made you…. all of you in my image. When you see others see me.

Heavenly Father, help us to focus on you and your love and your love in others as you have made each of us so precious and unique and worthy of our time and attention…. even if we don’t agree.

Happy Thanksgiving

In the Spirit of Thanksgiving, I would like to stay true to form. Every Thanksgiving I like to take the time to reflect on the things that I am grateful for. This year, today actually, as I was driving down the country road heading home, I saw three trees next to each other. One a deep, burnt orange, the other a bright yellow and the third an evergreen 🌲. All of them front and center of a pale grey background. It was very pleasing to the eyes, so much so that I decided to stop and take a picture. Now, if I was painting the picture I would probably not add in the electric pole that was firmly mounted right in the middle of the beautiful trees! Just so you know…I’ve got gobs of gratefulness for electricity especially now that the temperatures are dropping.  But upon witnessing the beauty of these trees and the outlying electric pole, I thought, this is just like God to create a metaphor right here, right now! “Thank you, Lord, that you care so much about us that you painted this beautiful picture of multi colors of trees for whoseve’s eyes pass this way and thank you for this electric pole……that…. well..God how can I be thankful for this electric pole that is littering the canvas that you created just for me in this moment?”

The trees and electric pole got me to thinking. 🤔 As is in every season of life there are things to be grateful for, beautiful things, the obvious that we don’t have to think on for too long. Then there are other things, things that we might see as challenging, or ugly. Things that we would rather do without or avoid altogether if possible. I’m myself no exception.

Metaphorically this has been a recent “electric pole” on our family canvas:

This year has brought some financial challenges, things unexpected that we had to address head on. Our air conditioning unit decided that it was extremely tired and took a permanent time of rest💤. My thinking was, “well we can put it off for a while because we don’t need air conditioning for at least a half of year”. I didn’t realize that the heat and air unit were one in the same🤭. I guess we need it after all! My family can testify that me and being cold can bring tears quickly. Another unexpected expense was Sara’s vehicle, which also decided that it too needed a long rest…after several short rests with multiple tow truck interventions🚛….at night…in the rain! Thankful for Glenpool Wrecker Service

What to do…. what to do? With some planning and rearranging, Chris and I were able to put our heads together, (easy to do since he has such a beautiful head)👱🏻‍♂️, and come up with a solution. We decided to put my truck up for sale and trust Gods’ provision.

The metaphoric beautiful “arrangement of trees” on our family canvas:

Within a few days of searching, we found cute zippy car for Sara, drove to Perry, Ok where it was listed and wouldn’t you know it, Chris knew the family of the guy helping us very well. In fact, Sara and I listened to them reminisce for some time before driving that cute thing home. The day after we purchased Sara’s car I was talking to my precious mother-in-law (Judy) who told us that a friend of her and Larry’s was selling their vehicle for just the right price. We went to look at it the next day and met 2 new souls that I truly enjoyed visiting with as we shared stories for close to an hour. The car they were selling also just so happened to be my favorite Make and my favorite color. SOLD! Next was selling my truck. Within 2 weeks of being on the market we sold my truck to a hard-working 17 yr old boy who drove away with a big smile on his face. We found out that this boy had recently lost his dad and was able to use some of the inheritance that his Dad left him for the truck. Chris, with his big ol’ heart, sold the truck for less than we had planned but even with that adjustment we came out of all that trading with ZERO debt! A gigantic reason to be Thankful!  

My Heavenly Father provides so much beauty. Just as the unexpected financial setbacks weren’t a splash of color in and of themselves to our story, we were and are now able to see the full canvas. Our initial “electric pole” of problems became an assortment of beautifully colored trees, or rather, an arrangement of people that weren’t in our lives or a part of our story before, but now they are. The electric pole was just a small part of the larger painting that involved everything in it as presented; the good and the obstacles to overcome! I am Thankful for the larger painting 🖼️or also called The Bigger Picture!

“And we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

Happy Thanksgiving! 🍁

Practice Makes…….!

I’ve always heard the phrase "practice makes perfect", but never put much thought into it because it never really resonated as my truth. Where did “practice makes perfect” come from.  I decided to look up… this “offensive phrase” 😁 and here is what I found! “Practice makes Perfect” is a Latin term that dates back to the mid-1500’s and its root is derived from the phrase “use makes mastery”. So, the idea is that repeated practice leads to a mastery in whatever skill is being practiced. The word “mastery” can be interchanged with words such as superiority, proficiency, knowledge, or ascendency, but….you know which word it’s not interchanged with?........Perfection! 🤯

Instead, a phrase that has resonated with me is something I heard years ago, and as profound and life changing that it was, for some reason I just can’t think of who said it or where it came from. Probably Pastor Willie George……Oh, well!  It’s a phrase much like the “practice makes perfect”, but instead it has a fun, more playful ring to it.  “Practice makes better”!

Blessed be my mom, dad and brother as they are all type A personalities, which tends to be perfectionists, competitive, and focused on achievement. They come by it naturally, and this has always been their normal because this is how God made them. An all-too-common motto in our home was, “If you are going to do something, you need to do it right the first time”. If I heard it once I heard it…..well….alot….. and doing things right the first time was never my jam. I remember very clearly the first time I was taught to clean a toilet. It took some practice but I am so bold as to write that as of right now, I can probably clean a toilet better than 90% of the population! 🚽😜

The problem with this way of being for me and I’m guessing many others is that it all too often can cause us to shrink back and stifle us from stepping out from the unknown into unfamiliar territory. A place that we are guaranteed to not do well in the beginning, but this is not for me, and hopefully not for you either!

Striving for perfection has not worked out well for my mind, body or spirit. If my expectation was to do things perfectly, I would never start anything. When I first visited Toastmasters, I couldn’t believe how well the members spoke. They spoke with gravitas and assurance as if they had a message that I needed to hear. Some speeches were heavy and tugged on my heart strings while others were light and airy leaving me rubbing my cheeks from laughing so hard.

I would never have believed that the talented group of speakers that I was listening to once really struggled with public speaking, as there was no evidence…..but that is precisely their story. I haven’t spoken with one member who said that being a good public speaker came easy to them from the beginning. They had to practice.

January 2023 came time for my first speaking competition, the Toastmasters International Speech Contest. It was for “Evaluations”, where us competitors would listen to a gentleman’s 5–7-minute speech. The way it worked was that after the speech, we were taken into a separate room where we would all wait together. One by one we were then escorted into the room to “evaluate the speech” to a group of our peers as well as the judges.  While waiting for my turn I remember talking to Michael Phillips. Michael is currently the Sergeant at Arms for my club “Speaking Up” and has been a member of Toastmasters for 42 years. I asked him what the secret sauce was for succeeding and getting better at public speaking and what his best advice was for someone just coming in. His response was genius as he said…. just keep coming back! 💡

At this point in my journey I choose not to strive for perfection, which can be challenging given the nature of the culture that we live in. It also helps since my pendulum leans a little more toward type B, which is more relaxed, easy going and patient. Whatever your challenges are though, we can all benefit from these scriptures:  Phil 4:13 MSG says “Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am"” and Philippians 4:8-9 MSG says “Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies”. I know I have. The key is to step out from your comfort zone and continue to move forward but never forget……Practice Makes ……Better!!

Episode 1: Ready..Set…Go!

“Write a Compelling Blog!” This was one of the options available for a level 4 Speech in my Toastmasters Pathways journey, Presentation Mastery.  “What does compelling mean?” 🤔

According to the Oxford Dictionary, compelling means evoking interest, attention, or admiration in a powerfully irresistible way. Hmmm, compelling might be reaching a little too high but as my website says, I will thrive through discomfort.

October 2022, while working on my RN to BSN online, a professor challenged our class to look closely at any obstacles and fears that might act as a roadblock for personal growth.  I didn’t have to dig too deep to come up with an answer. “Public Speaking!” 💡

Public Speaking is a great topic for Blogging!

Let me take you back a few years to give you some context:

 I was in 5th grade and Mr. Vrevan decided to have us all work on our public speaking skills. There was no preparation, it was 100% impromptu. I remember being terrified…….no, that word won’t do. I was in a total panic! 😨 The love of my life at that time, Craig, (we were probably going to get married and have about 10 babies), casually walks to the front of the class, gets his piece of paper with a topic on it. Remarkably he was able to ramble on for what seemed an eternity about fire trucks! 🚒 Ahhh, so dreamy. Then it was my turn. My heart started racing even harder than it already was, palms sweating, and I couldn’t breathe.  I wish I could tell you more of what happened, but I’m pretty sure that I just stared blankly like a deer in headlights out at the class👀. Panic had replaced that part of my brain which could articulate rational thought. I may have passed out.

My journey of public speaking did become easier as the years passed. A classmate of mine encouraged me to give a speech about our community involvement project in 10th grade for the Future Homemakers of America (FHA) Speech Contest. I couldn’t believe when we won 1st place at regionals.🙌 Smooth sailing from there, right?? Not so much. Even with all the speaking opportunities in college, my career and clubs it just always seemed so much harder than what I thought it should be.

When my college professor challenged us to “tear down walls of fear” I had already heard of Toastmasters. My mind was made up and I was going to join. November, 2022, after my first meeting at “Speaking Up” Toastmasters I got my checkbook out and I became an official member. 👩🏽‍🏫

Have I arrived after 2 years of practicing? Uhhhh, no………but, I have learned so much about myself so far on this journey. Psalm 1:3 reads, "She is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither; in all that she does, she prospers”. It has been scripture upon scripture that I have had to trust in and lean on to get me this far.

Did I mention the unwavering support that I have received? I am surrounded by a team of people that I call “Fellow Toastmasters”, but more importantly, my friends. Public Speaking is often cited as the number 1 fear that people have. Whether its fear of judgment, making mistakes, or feeling unprepared.  It is a journey to walk through with those who will lift you up, inspire you with thoughtful evaluation, and challenge you to push through.🧡 Did I mention that we have so much fun and laughter!?!

After paying my membership dues that first meeting, my mentor said, “Welcome aboard, next week I’m going to have you give your icebreaker speech”!

Oh…..Wait!!